Lying To Myself

I’ve been lying to myself. I’ve been giving myself excuses as to why I’m not having tons of wild casual sex or why I haven’t even dated anyone in the last 7 years.

The two most common lies I tell myself are:

-The ratio of dominant women to submissive men prevents me from meeting someone I’m attracted to. Women have their pick of the litter so of course it’s going to be an uphill battle.
-I’d have a better chance if I were wealthy..or at least a little less broke.

There’s evidence to support these as being true. Most of the dominant women I know in New York who are in relationships are with guys who probably make more in a year than I do in a decade. Can’t blame them of course. If someone has a choice between a great guy of modest income or a great guy who’s got cash, most would choose bachelor number two. Jut because someone’s wealthy doesn’t mean he’s not a good person. Plus this is New York. Wealthy guys are everywhere.

It’s an easy out for me to tell myself that it’s these outside factors keep me from getting fucked. The truth is, if I were really that great of a guy, my income wouldn’t matter now would it?

It’s not the fault of the women I’m attracted to that they’re not attracted to me. It’s my fault.

Hell I know I wouldn’t fuck me. Then again I’m straight.

A friend noted that I’ve been especially bitter lately. She asked where the guy she met when I first moved to New York had gone. She misses him. He misses her too.

The fact is I need to work on myself. I need to make myself more attractive to the women I’m attracted to. How do I do that? I have no clue but I’ve come up with a few ideas.

-Start wearing Old Spice. (It worked for my dad)
-Gain some weight by working out more than twice a week.
-Get a better job.
-Quit my bitching.

That’s all I’ve got so far.