Submission or Love?

Last night I was making Sade and I our lunches for today.  Her’s is on the left mine is on the right.



That’s right, I took the heel.

I hate the heel, always have and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because it’s less bread or because the texture feels blah.

But I took it and I don’t even know if Sade cares about the heel or not.

It was then that it occurred to me. Wait..was I taking the heel out of love or out of submission?

It then dawned on me that I can’t tell the difference between the two in the everyday things.  Cleaning the tub out of submission or out of love?

Is it both or is is more of one or the other?

I don’t even know where I’m going with this post. It’s still something I need to get my head around.

Maybe when it’s good, there is no way to tell between submission and love.

Anyway I hate the heel, but it feels good to take it.


Definitely sounds like love to me. (:

BTW, if its a thick piece of heel I find you can take the knife and cut off the back side of it and that get rids of some of that extra texture.

I can relate to this.

I’ve found that vanilla men do many many things out of love, and those things look *exactly* like submission. It’s very pretty. But it’s not submission.

The difference to me between vanilla men in love and submissive men in love is in this:

“Anyway I hate the heel, but it feels good to take it.”

To me, THAT, above, is a feeling that only comes out of submission. There is an intrinsic feel-good feedback loop that works for submissive men that isn’t there for vanilla men, and that’s a key reason why I won’t go out with vanilla men.

My experience is that submissive men will do things like that and keep doing things like that and it *feeds* them in a positive way in the context of the D/s relationship. For vanilla men, the intrinsic return just isn’t there, so the good feels diminish and they WILL get to the point of ‘well, fuck, this isn’t fair, I take the heel EVERY FUCKING TIME’. And when they get to that point, they will look expectantly at me and wait for the balance of fairness and equality to be restored. That’s behind the ‘I washed up yesterday, your turn today’ tit-for-tat of vanilla.


Yes this. Exactly.

I miss that feeling of caring for her but it feeding back to me in submissive ways. Ferns is right men like me, we do it anyway out of love. But without the submission it does get to feel like a burden after a while.

I miss that.