I’ve been under a bit more stress than normal lately. Ok, a lot more than normal. Work is status quo but my finances are stretched thin. File it under the “shit happens” category.

It’s times like this that I crave control even more. I feel the need for escape by being tied up, stretched, poked, prodded, fucked and bruised.

Why is that?

Usually I want those things just because I’m horny and that’s who I am. Those things are hot, but now I want those things for a different reason. I want them as a way to escape and forget all of the other things distracting me.

It’s an odd feeling. It’s like being hungry not because your body needs food but because your mind needs it.

Ok that’s a bad analogy.

Hmmm how do describe, how to describe….

Eh, it escapes me.

I think it has something to do with being controlled by things I don’t want to be controlled by. Surrendering to a woman with pain on her mind is a way for me to overwhelm all of those bad things with something good.

Or maybe I’m just horny and don’t realize it.


Actually, I’m the same way. When I’m super-stressed, like I am right now, I start craving submission. I want someone else ot take control so that, just for a little while, I don’t have to. Someone else can be in charge, because dammit, I’m tired of it.

Yknow, it’s funny how people assume stress makes my sex drive go down when it isn’t true at all 😐

Hope the workload eases up soon

Why is that a bad analogy? Lots of people “comfort eat”. I’m sure there are people who comfort beat. And then there are those of us who find it comforting to be beaten . . .

I see sera already said what I was going to say.

I’ve actually found it totally works both ways for me. Either extreme of the emotional continuum can cause me to crave submission. Stress, worry, terror can all equal tie me, beat me, take me now. On the other hand elation, happiness, and success can do the same thing.

Gotta say though that these days, my finances are beyond precarious, I’m stressing like nobody’s business, and I just wanna be friends. Does that make me an old, dessicated boomer who has sinned his last sin? Jeez, I hope not!

I kind of feel the same way when I get overwhelmed. I just want a sub to say “Don’t worry Mistress, allow ME to take care of it! Oh! And I think you need to be pampered just for your trouble by a great full body massage to melt your stress away”

Thats the fantasy at least.

Ever since my divorce I have hated having to deal with annoying mundane things and as a result, they cause me lots of stress. Everything piling up on top of each other is what stresses me out the most and knowing I am having to deal with it all alone. It wouldn’t be so bad if I was married and knew someone else had my back and we were going through it together. But I put so much stress on myself to just get through it that it increases the stressful feelings and isolation. As a result, I tend to just shut down. I sleep a lot. I don’t deal with it. I stop talking to others. I get kind of frantic. It’s not pretty.

But I have started learning how to deal with it better, so I guess anythings possible.

Maybe it’s both. The need to give up control and push your limits, and being horny at the same time. It is both for me, but I find the more stressed I am, the more I need to push someone’s limits and the rougher it is. Just the way we’re wired I guess 🙂

Being stressed or grumpy definitely makes me a better dom – it helps overwhelm my essential niceness. I had one playmate a while back who worked that out, and she used to make a point of getting me grumpy.
(But of course what she didn’t know was that when I’m like that I secretly want someone else to sort me out.. I want to be dommed myself.)