I’m In Trouble

I’m in trouble.

Just a little over 3 months from now Sade and I are getting married.

That’s not the trouble part.

The closer we get the more overwhelmed with emotion I get. You see I’m really a softie…really..a hopeless romantic. Sade actually makes me swoon. Really…physically swoon. Swoon!

Stop reading now unless you can stomach some serious cheese. I recognize that.

So why am I in trouble?

We’re writing our own vows.

This is trouble in two forms. The first is that I don’t have the words to explain how I feel. There aren’t words. Maybe in some strange alien language. Maybe it’s “Gleep Glorp” from the planet Fremutron 5 in the Dacor sector.

The other problem is, whenever I think about what to say, I get choked up. Misty eyed and emotional. I imagine standing next to her on our wedding day and I lose it.

So I’m completely stuck. Every time I try and think of the words I get emotional.

Lately I’ve been hearing this song in my mind when I think of it.

Yeah…see? How the fuck do I write vows when I can barely hold it together when I picture it in my mind?


Fuck fuck fuck

If I was a wealthy guy I’d do it this way:

I’d say..”Sade, I can best sum up my vows…in a song. Please welcome Mr Stevie Wonder!”

I’ll buy a lottery ticket just in case.

Meanwhile I’m racking my brain. How do you write wedding vows. How in the hell can I be expected to evoke the words that summarize how I feel about being her husband?

Step one is to overcome the emotion…then I can work on step two.



This is so fucking sweet!

I hope you can’t and don’t overcome the emotion. Fuck that!

I hope you sniffle and sob and snot all through your wedding vows like a big emotional crybaby.

I think that’s hot and adorable and fucking beautiful.

Also, I find I use the word ‘fuck’ a lot when I am moved by something, you could try that. You’re welcome.


Maybe you could try recreating that scene from “The King’s Speech”, and just say something like, “I take thee, Sade, to *shit! shit! bugger! fuck* be my lawful…”


My husband/sub and I gave impromptu speeches at our wedding reception and I broke up halfway through, croaked out the rest, and sat down crying as everyone went “awwwww…” It’s totally humiliating. Enjoy!

Long-time lurker delurking here. I swear this post made me so happy for you that my heart physically ached. May I point out that this is a good problem to have? I hope Sade is enjoying it! It would be so wasted otherwise. 🙂

On a more practical note, would it help to think about the top three things you want to have done for Sade by the time you’re eighty? Rather than the way you feel, which evidently just causes loss of speech, breath and consciousness …

A suggestion: don’t begin by tring to write your vow, instead find your vocabulary. Make a list of words that you might like to say, that mean what you believe, that represent your commitment. Then add in synonyms. Let it rest a couple of days. Take it up again and look for overlaps aand gaps. Fill them in. Rest. Tae it up and begin putting them into categories – whaterver makes sense to you. Rest. Begin to make sentences of you categories – not as a vow but just sentences. Rest. Begin assembling your sentences according to some rubric that makes sense to you: for example, What she meant to you, what she means to you what she will mean to you (or what you commit to).

Just a suggestion.

You’re not in trouble; you’re in love. Poor bastard. 😉

It’s a lovely predicament I hope you never find your way out of.

You’ll find words, but they’ll never be good enough to describe what you’re feeling. Accept that. Be thankful for it. That’s a beautiful sort of trouble to be in. 🙂

I was thinking the same thing as was said above…good golly, don’t lose the emotion!!!.. Love is a pretty big deal. I have a feeling that what you say won’t be a boring recitation of “I love you because your eyes are beautiful. I love you because of your pasta sauce.”
I imagine it more as something like…”I am full of you. I cannot exist without you, because you have become entwined in my dna helix…You are part of me, as I am part of you. ”


One word at a time, it will come together. Cry as you write it. Weep as you read it to yourself. If you DON”T weep…you didn’t put the right words down.

I have a feeling you’ll get it just right. 😀


I wish everybody would put that much emotion into his/her wedding! Congratulations … in the end it’s all about emotions. You’ll express them in a very natural way, just being yourself!

Actually, I envy you! I have never managed to take weddings very seriously. Don’t take me wrong! I’m in a long term relationship heading for the 20 year mark and running … but I don’t intend to marry. In my situation it doesn’t seem compatible with our D/s dynamic.

Congratulations to both of you!