One of my best friends and I headed out to a couple of kink events Sunday night.

Many of the monthly kink oriented events are held on Sunday nights. The only reason I can imagine is because it’s cheaper to get a bar on a Sunday night as opposed to Friday or Saturday nights. Again, just a guess. Otherwise it doesn’t make any sense.

The first place we went to was The Baroness party. The Baroness is a latex clothing shop in NYC so many of the people are normally wearing latex. It was quiet at first but slowly started to pick up around 10. Nice people, a few women commented on the strappy heels my friend was wearing. They were very friendly and nice but we decided to leave just after 10 to see if things were more active at Cat O Nine. Granted, things don’t usually start to pick up at these parties until closer to ten but we decided to hedge our bets and try for plan B since my friend had never been to Cat O Nine.

The first thing that surprised me about Cat O Nine was that they advertised the price to get in as:

Dommes: $10
Fetish Gear: $15
Street Rags: $20

When we got to the venu my friend and I were told it would be 15 each.

“But she’s a Domme”, I said.

“Pro Dommes pay $10”, I was told.

I wast tempted to tell my friend I’d give her a nickle to punch me in the arm so she’d be considered a pro, but I wasn’t in a position to argue. Plus my friend didn’t seem upset about it, she just thought it was silly. I need to take a lesson from her and not sweat the small stuff.

What I was thinking: “Are you fucking kidding me”?

What I said: “Oh, Ok, seems kinda silly but…”

Is this how we encourage dominant women in the lifestyle? Maybe I’m not understanding the mentality behind it. It’s not uncommon for women to pay less than men since most places want to encourage women (especially the dominant ones) to go to events. The price was clearly listed at “Dommes”, not “Pro Dommes”.

Of course this was the same place that once charged me full price because the doorman told me my leather pants weren’t considered fetish wear, “latex only” I was told. At least they finally realized leather was fetish as well.

Yeah, I know I’m making a stink over a measly $5. Not to mention I often remind myself that I moved to New York specifically because there weren’t any events where I call home (the mid-west). I should be thankful that I live in a place that at least has kink events.

As soon as we walked in I saw something that made me a very happy boy. Beer on tap. After seeing this, I was no longer upset about paying extra the non-pro-dome tax. Oh how times have changed. When I first moved here I’d arrive at an event and if there weren’t any dominant women I thought I had a chance with I’d just turn around and go home. Now I’m just thankful for the simple things.

I Ended up having some good conversations with a few submissive guys (there were plenty to talk to). We talked about the scene in europe and I got some great notes on where to go for kink overseas. One guy made it sound like events in europe are totally different than they are here. he told tales of events were it’s not unheard of for women to approach submissive men.

One guy came up to me and asked where all the dominant women were. I used my old standby that someone told me once, “They’re all at home with their submissives”.

My friend, being an attractive dominant woman, was getting a lot of attention. Some of the attention was unwanted so there were a few times I needed to step in and save the day. Time and time again I see the kinds of submissive men that give submissive men a bad name. It makes me wonder if sometimes I’m viewed as one of the bad ones.

All in all, both events were worth it just because I had a chance to socialize, be around others like me and hang out with a good friend.

Sometimes it’s nice just to remember you’re not alone.