It’s been a long time since I’ve had sex or played.

Sometimes I wonder if a good fuck is all I need and other times I wonder if it will just make me want sex and BDSM even more.

I’ll admit, I’m a picky SOB. Whenever I get comments or emails from readers saying “I just don’t understand why you can’t find someone to play with you…”, The answer is simple. Yes, I can find someone to play, but I can’t play/fuck with just anyone. I need to be attracted to them.

Say that to some people and they’ll say “Well, DUH” and others will say I’m too picky.

I do feel bad when I need to tell someone I’m not interested. For some reason it’s a bad thing when a guy isn’t attracted to a woman but it’s OK for a woman to not be attracted to a guy.

I only feel submissive to someone I’m attracted to mentally and physically. I can’t submit to a woman just because she calls herself a dominant. I wish I could be one of those guys. I know it’s a bit of a flaw that I need to be sexually and mentally attracted to someone on some level in order to play. It limits me.

I know plenty of guys who’d fuck anyone, but I’ve never been one of those guys.

When I was 17 I wanted to lose my virginity more than anything else in the world. It was so bad I could taste it. If an attractive girl looked at me wrong I’d get instantly hard (ok that still happens to this day but that’s besides the point).

A few of my older guy friends decided after a long night of drinking that they were going to get me laid. They knew a woman who’d pretty much sleep with anyone that knocked on her door. We all stumbled into the lobby of her apartment and when she came out to greet us I couldn’t have been more turned off. She was…..not who I wanted to lose my virginity to. Not even, no, not even close.

My buddies tried to push me to go into her apartment. I specifically remember yelling “Fuck no” (Hey I was 17 and drunk). My friends went into her apartment and I waited in the lobby. An hour later they returned and started giving me shit for backing out.

“Boy you really missed out.”

“You can’t be so picky, it’s just sex.”

“If you’re waiting for a hot girl, you’ll be a virgin for a very long time.”

I just sat there quietly while they bragged about their conquest and how great she was in bed.

A week later they admitted that she gave them Chlamydia.

One year later I lost my virginity to two college girls.

It was worth the wait.

I hope my current wait is worth it as well.

I may need to go vanilla to get this itch scratched.