UnspeakableAxe
A Story Of Sex, Submission and…wow I can't sum it all up here
I was really excited when I walked past this store today.
It turns out it’s more of a hardware store than an S/M hardware store.
I asked the manager if there was some secret room in the back where I could find the good stuff but he just looked at me like I was a moron or something.
Maybe there’s a secret password I need to use to get in the back.
The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #158? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
A 2009 Wish For Smut Writers
“Sex bloggers are on the cusp of what I see as being a new kind of sexual revolution.”
Q&A with Domina Doll
“I enjoy teaching others how to explore that aspect of themselves.”
Overtaken
“He kissed the side of my neck, sweeping my long hair out of the way, working his mouth across the side of my neck to press little bites along my collarbone.”
Sugasm Editor
Sex Work And Honesty: When The Truth Hurts
Editor’s Choice
Dictation with Davis
More Sugasm
Join the Sugasm
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above within a week. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)
Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews
Four Seasons Studded And Ribbed Condoms Review
Sari Stripping
Taking action
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Autobiography of a Masturbator: Porn O’Graphicus, Part 6
Banging on the Bongs
Horror Vacui
How NOT to Talk About Size and Sexuality
Lessons I’ve Learned (so you don’t have to )
The Recruiting Process
NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Ariel (errotica archives)
da Deflowered HNT
Maria Ford Ripped Open Revealing Breasts in Passion Cove
Meggan Mallone – All Tied Up
BDSM & Fetish
20 Macaroons
Forced bisexuality revisited part 2
KSL Kontest Winner for December
Leaving The Ramrod
My First Cell Popping
Poly Mono Saturated Thoughts
A year of lustful quality
Sex Advice
Anal Sex Precautions
Ask Miss Bliss – My Wife Wants a Threesome With Two Guys
Dear Em & Lo: Help, I Can’t Orgasm with My Boyfriend!
Erotic Writing and Experiences
All woman
And With Your Eyes
Close
Dick Meets Jane…Again
Fire and Ice
If you come to a fork in the road, take it
Last Chance
Middle School Fantasy
A Quick Fuck in a Shadowed Corner
She Walks in Beauty, Chapter 2
Stripper Academy: Visiting Professor
The Summer of Roses
Weasel Journal
The Workout Part One
Your Gorgeous Polish Girlfriend Keeps Calling You Sweetie in Public
Almost all of my experiences in BDSM have been non-sexual. That is to say, most of my experiences have been play that didn’t include penetrative sex.
Up until a few years ago I never would have thought that any kind of play without intercourse would have been worthwhile. Back then I always felt it was something that was supposed to go hand in hand with sex. First the spanking, then the bondage, teasing and then the fucking. It was more of a kind of foreplay in my mind more than something that could be appreciated alone.
Then I moved to New York.
It was difficult to make the transition at first. The only people I’d play with would be those I also wanted to sleep with. That made me feel a little rejected at first. After all, I was playing with them because I was attracted to them, weren’t they attracted to me too? Wasn’t that the reason why they wanted to play with me?
Over time I began to get used to the feeling of playing for the sake of playing. I could enjoy getting tied up or whipped and just enjoy it for what it was: Fun!
Sure I still have difficulty in reading some people at first. I’ll still sometimes have a barrage of questions running through my brain:
“Is she doing this because I’m fun to play with or because she’s attracted to me?”
“Is she saying she want’s to do more than just tie me up?”
Most of the people I happen to have these mini-scenes with are those I’m already friends with. It’s much easier to let my mind go and enjoy the bondage, the flogging or whatever wonderful thing she’s putting me through. There’s something nice about just letting go and not needing to wonder about what comes next when I know that there is nothing next. I can just sink in and enjoy the experience.
It’s difficult do describe since there is a feeling of sexual tension and intimacy involved. Especially when it’s with someone I know and like. There’s a closeness that comes from it. It’s unspoken but it’s there.
I like to think these experiences have helped me become a better submissive (Hmm Let me rephrase). I hope these experiences have helped me become a better submissive to someone I have a chance of having sex with. Most of the time I can just focus on the moment and not be caught up on wanting to rush to the sex.
Don’t get me wrong, I know I’m still thinking with my cock, but my cock is just more patient now.
Kinda.
Someone emailed me a link to DreamLover Labs last week and I’ve been thinking about the possibilities.
Here’s what they claim: “DreamLover Labs is committed to bringing the full power of today’s miniaturized sensors, actuators and microcontrollers to the world of sensual power exchange. DreamLover Laboratories offers high tech male management devices for playful and/or serious cerebral power exchange and sensual dominance.”
They don’t have anything for sale yet but it looks like their main product is a converted chastity device combined with the technology of a electronic dog collar.
It’s an interesting concept. Getting a jolt of correction from a push of a button. The biggest negatives seem to be that it only works from a short distance and there’s no way to bring pleasure. Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to get either correcting pain or teasing pleasure from one device?
The benefits of the device as they claim:
-Hands-free discipline (personally I like hands on too though)
-Slashes training time (What’s normal training time????)
-Instant behavior correction and attitude adjustment in any situation (Try not to use while make is performing open-heart surgery)
-Completely stealth operation possible
-Complements the effects of chastity on male behavior control
-Longer attention span, increased receptiveness, increased output (Where was this when I was in school??)
-Overclock your male now!
Another email from a reader. I gave her advice that wasn’t necessary after all:
“I came across your blog while reading about BDSM and thought you might be a good person to talk to. I am a dominant woman that seems to be making a lot of mistakes in seduction of submissive men. Well, that is, I’m having trouble identifying them. The other day I kind of ruined a friendship by taking a compliment as permission to, well, do things that he didn’t appreciate as much as I thought he would. I have trouble controlling my dominant feelings, I suppose.
I don’t really know what I want you to say or how I was expecting you to respond, but I feel very alone about this much of the time. My (more than) best friend is a submissive man and we relate to each other very well, but he’s not the extreme kind of submissive that I think about in the early hours of the morning. Don’t get me wrong, I do have my fun with him and I care about him very much, but I want to try something more and I don’t even know how to tell him. I guess, even being as dominant as I am (and I find myself getting more dominant everyday), I’m embarrassed by how dominant I long to become.
Thank you for writing a blog about your experiences and lifestyle. It’s incredibly validating to see men like you around, even if you’re 3,000 miles away in New York. I should really move to New York. Maybe for Law School…. Okay, so I’m flirting with you a little bit. That wasn’t my original intention. Promise. =)
Thanks for listening”
I gave her what I thought was some sound advice. I suggested that she make her desires known, that she may want to start off slow and slowly introduce him to the more extreme things she wanted from him. I went on and on and moments later she replied.
“Ironically, the evening I sent this message, he and I had a long talk about all that I told you about. It turns out, he was afraid of scaring me off with how much he wants to submit to me. He sent me a link to a chastity belt (okay, so I was too chicken to have the conversation in person and made him get on AIM) and I almost bursted with relief, satisfaction, and about a million other feelings. I’ve been wanting to lock him up for months.
To put it simply, I want complete control over his body. I want to instruct him on how to please me and beat the hell out of him when he makes mistakes. He once told me that he wasn’t into pain. At the time, I didn’t think I was into inflicting pain. He proved me wrong. I do want to inflict pain. I want him to take the pain for me… He told me that he’s been dying to get a whip in my hand for ages. That I’m the only one he ever wants to physically harm him (which is, of course, very flattering and sexy). We’ve also talked about pegging and are going to go shopping for a strap-on very soon. I want to try everything with him: spanking, torture, mummification… I even told him about “service-oriented submission” which I read about from you and he’s all for it.
The sexiest part of the conversation from my perspective: He said: “I don’t want you to want to do things to me anymore. I want you to do what you want to do to me. You know me very well and we’re best friends. I’d submit to you. If you ever went to put a chastity belt on me, and didnt talk to me about it first, id let you put it on and lock it because you wanted it there… if you slapped me i’d be on my knees.”
Mmm, very sexy. I would probably have denied myself and him if I hadn’t started reading blogs like yours. So thank you!”
SCORE!
After reading this I did my happy dance and felt that all was right in the world. I can certainly understand where her sub is coming from. It’s a scary thing to want to give yourself to someone, even if it’s for only a short time. It’s even scarier if you care about that person and are afraid of them rejecting you.
I wonder how many seemingly vanilla relationships are out there that are comprised of one person who wants to be owned and another who wants to control, yet neither of them talk about it?
I’m betting it’s quite a few.
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