UnspeakableAxe
A Story Of Sex, Submission and…wow I can't sum it all up here
The very first official podcast is now live. A conversation with my friend TGO.
Still working out all of the audio bugs so bear with me.
Masocast.com to listen or you can subscribe in iTunes by clicking the link on the main page.
I’m always looking for more people to sit and talk with so feel free to email with any suggestions.
Hope you enjoy.
I’ve been asked by two different people recently about my fantasies or things I’ve always wanted to try. That’s such a hard one to answer.
It’s hard because it depends on when you ask me and it’s even harder because of the question it raises. What if one of the things I’ve always wanted to try would be something that the dominant wouldn’t ever want to do?
What if I’ve always wanted to go to an orgy and go down on mulitple women? What if that’s something she’d never want me to do yet it’s something I have on my “list of things to do before I die”?
Ok no “what if”. It is something I want to do before I die.
It’s not just a fantasy, or a desire, it’s a need.
I’m just using the oral orgy daydream as an example.
Here’s another. It’s the fantasy of a woman who has a female submissive and I do all sorts of sexual for her. You know, she sits and watches as she directs the action then eventually directs the female submissive and I to take care of her.
Hot right?
Well, yeah, for me. But what if it’s not for the person who’s asking me about my desire? If she’s turned off by the idea am I basically saying “ok, you’re not in that one then”?
Does it hurt to find out you’re not into some of the same things?
Personally I’m just happy with being a part of some of the sexual daydreams of someone I’m intimate with. But does it work the same way in reverse?
What starts out as a fun sexual exploration of wants and desires turns into something else.
Or does it?
It’s late.
I’m blabbering.
As you may know I’ve been toying with the ida of staring a podcast. After a lot of procrastonating and saving for software and equipment, I’ve finally put something together.
My goal is….well…I don’t have one other than to have some good casual conversations about sex and BDSM.
Basically I’ll be going from friend to friend (and strangers if anyone want to shoot the breeze) and recording conversations about kink then releasing 10-20 minute segments of those conversations in the podcast.
I’m still working out the bugs but for now I have a test podcast up with a short conversation with a friend of mine just to make sure all is up and running.
Masocast.com is the place to go, feel free to add it to itunes and give me some positive or negative feedback (Not yet though…so far it’s just a test).
I’d also love any volunteers for anyone who’d like to sit down and chat.
I’ll bring the mic if you supply the beer or coffee.
Just a few days before I’ll be seeing “her” again and I’m horny as fuck.
So why don’t I do something about it? Why don’t I just jerk off two or three times today like I would normally?
She said she doesn’t want me to.
Grrrrrrrrr
I both love it and hate it.
I could though, just sneak off in the shower and take care of it. She’d never know. But somehow I can’t.
With regular masturbation I can fuck for hours. After a few days without I’ll be lucky to last a half an hour.
She says it makes me even more submissive, that I can be a bit of a smartass or something. Something about preferring me whimpering aching, quivering and hard. Hell I can’t even think straight at this point.
When she first said it I was worried that It meant I acted as though I could care less about her desires unless I was horny. Turns out that’s not the case, but there’s a big difference in my eagerness when I’m…eager.
Why does part of me love it? I have no clue. Well, it has something to do about control and being wanted and taken but my body is screaming at me so loudly right now that I can’t think enough to analyze it.
When I’m finally face to face with her again we’ll exchange pleasentries and talk about how her day was and probably talk about the headlines or something but no matte what we’re talking about, no matter what is coming out of my mouth, one thing will be flashing through my mind and other parts.
Please! Just! fuck me!
Guy friend #1: Oh, c’mon. What’s more important, going to see some woman or staying here and getting drunk with your friends?
Me: I’m sure you’ll have fun without me.
I know they really want me to come along because I’m the only single guy in the group. They like to watch me talk to women, flirt with them and live vicariously through me.
Guy friend #2: Well just go over there, bang her, then join us afterwards.
I’m guessing they’d freak out if I told them that she was the one who banged me.
Me: I usually spend the night.
Guy friend #3: She better make you breakfast in the morning.
Me: Actually, usually make her breakfast.
Guy friend #1: She better give you a blowjob in exchange for breakfast.
I’m wondering how it is these guys are in relationships.
Me: Oh I’m sure she’ll have something fun in mind.
Guy Friend #2: You’re pussy whipped.
Me: Oh and if I back out on her to join you, would that make me dick whipped? I’ll take pussy whipped any day.
If they had any idea what would be happening when I saw her, they’d probably shit themselves.
Most of my vanilla female friends know about my “interests”. One in fact referred to my interest in kink as my “unspeakable acts”. Hence the name that I’m now regretting. I have no vanilla guy friends that I can feel comfortable enough with to tell them about myself. Some I’ve known for more than ten years and yet they have no clue.
Maybe that’s why I have more female friends than male. Sure some of my female friends are former friends-with-benefits but I’ve always been able to stay friends afterwards. I prefer the company of women over men in my platonic relationships as well. I’ve never known why.
Maybe because they’re more accepting.
Maybe because they look and smell better.
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