Sperm Donor

I’m still in a bit of a haze after I was asked a very important and heartfelt question this weekend.

One of my best friends asked me if I would be a sperm donor.

My first thought was flattery of course.

The next thought was “will it be the natural way?” (she and I haven’t ever crossed that line so I was curious..plus I’m a perv)

She laughed when I asked this and said “No, but if it helps I’ll spank you while you cum in the cup”.

One of the first questions I asked was…why me?

She had narrowed it down to a few people but I was on the top of the list. Her reasons?

“You have good genes, you’re healthy, you’re tall, you’re attractive. I figure if it’s a girl, she’ll be tall and beautiful, if it’s a boy he’ll be tall, attractive and have a good sized cock”.

More flattery.

“Plus, you’re a good person.” (Person shmerson, I was still surprised she thought I had a good sized cock, not to mention that it would be a factor in picking a possible biological father)

She made it clear that the physical characteristics were only a small part of if. It’s who I am that made her ask me.

I’m still amazed and flattered she would ask.

On one hand I really want to help my friend, not just because she’s a dominant woman, but because she’s my friend and I want her to be happy.

On the other hand, when a woman asks “Do you have any kids?”, how would I answer?

“Well, I don’t have any kids, but I did ejaculate in a cup once and a doctor did put it inside my friends vagina, and that did make a baby come out. But other than that…no….no kids.”

I don’t know what I’ll decided. She and I have a lot of things to discuss. I have a lot of things to consider.

It would be the ultimate form of service I suppose and it would make my friend extremely happy.

I keep going back and forth, my mind is still spinning on this one. I can think of a million reasons to do it and a million reasons not to. All of the reasons not to seem like selfish reasons.

I don’t like feeling selfish, yet it’s a common thread lately.

24 Comments

Selfish, or just taking care of yourself? There’s a difference.

would you be involved in this childs life? god, thats such a tough call. i mean, this is your friend, so you will see the kid growing up. ok, im going to shut up cause i dont want to make this a harder decision by adding my ramblings.

i wish you luck in your decision though.

ps- selfish was when i was hungry and didnt want to leave the apartment and ate my roommates last poptart without replacing it.

It’s a pretty emotional decision. I don’t think I could do it (aside from the fact that I don’t have sperm). Maybe (and that’s a big maybe) for someone I am very close to. I also know I couldn’t carry a baby for someone else. I don’t want any more but no way I could hand it over when the time came. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t think it’s selfish. If you can do it great, if not then say so!

Well my decision would depend mostly on the woman asking. Is she a good person, responsible, able to take care of a baby? If you can say yes about that and she is a good friend, then I would do it.
But if you have doubts about it, then don´t.

Hmm, makes me thinking when she is a good dominant friend, and also wants a baby with you, and you even think about that, why are you two “just” friends?

As someone who has thought a lot about this from the other side, and so who has great sympathy for your friend, if you’re at all conflicted about your answer it should probably be no. This is not a decision you should be making as a submissive male. This is a decision you should be making as a person and a friend, and you need to have an indepth conversation with your friend about it. You need to ask things like:
Would she have you sign over your parental rights?
Would you be at all involved in the child’s upbringing?
Would the child know you were the biological father?
If you just donated sperm, signed over your parental rights, had no involvement in the child’s upbringing, and the child did not know you were his or her bio father, for all intents and purposes he or she would not be your child and, given that your friend is the one asking you, would you be okay with that? Would you, perhaps, even prefer that? It’s both easier and a lot harder to donate sperm to someone you know than just at a sperm bank – to phrase it in terms of your last question it’s the difference between “there might be a child out there who is mine” and “there is a child out there who I am genetically related to, but who isn’t mine” or “there is a child out there who is mine, but I’m not involved in her life” or “yes, I have a child.”

It’s fine to be selfish in this situation. If the men I’ve thought of asking have _any_ doubts at all, I’d want them to be selfish.

I truly don’t think that either decision is selfish. Your reasons for ‘no’ do consider the others involved, not just yourself, as do the reasons for ‘yes’.

Definitely be flattered.

your feeling selfish has nothing to do with you actually *being* selfish. it’s just that you learned, somewhere along the line in life, that it’s not okay for you to ever have your own needs.

but it IS okay for you to have your own needs, and to do your best to meet them. 🙂

How flattering. Now, start to consider the legal/parental/psychological issues. Is she going to pay all the legal/medical bills? Just a thought, but this sounds like it would be very problematic and full of unimagined pitfalls.

john

i’m concerned with the financial / legal aspects as well, not just the emotional aspects, even though that’s just as hard to navigate. i think that yes, you should be flattered, and yes, it would be a very nice giving thing for you to do, but you also need to consider your needs, your responsibilities, and your gut reaction. this is a big decision. and a hard one (no pun intended ;O) ). i think there are all sorts of ethical issues related to knowing the person you’re giving sperm to. just as there are a great deal of issues with female egg donation and surrogacy–i have a problem with treating either sex’s reproductive qualities as a commodity, it seems unnatural and overly medically-technocratic to me. basically because i think that contributing genetic material should make it your child. i dunno. confusing. i couldn’t do it.

Hi – Also, before you accept, do talk to a lawyer. I read about a sperm donor who ended up having to pay child support when sued by the couple he donated to. An unlikely, but possible and potentially disastrous scenario unless you protect yourself.

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