I Love/Hate Pain

I love getting hurt…I hate seeing others getting hurt.

If I’m at a play party and someone is experiencing some really intense pain, I almost always need to look away.

Obviously I know that the “victim” is probably enjoying themselves, and I can see how it can be incredibly hot. I just have a difficult time seeing someone else in pain.

Maybe it’s 90% pacifism and 10% “I wish that were me”.

Even as a young boy, if my little brother was going to get punished for something, I’d try to take the blame for it. Seeing him getting the belt or a spanking was much harder for me than getting the same treatment myself.

I have the same reaction when someone else is being humiliated. I feel bad for them, want to make it stop and just want to protect them.

My ability to accept it and watch or not be bothered on it changes depending on my mood, the situation and who is on the receiving end at the time. If it’s someone I know, then I feel very protective of them and have to keep myself from saying something.

So is it pacifism? Empathy? Jealousy?

Is it rare that a masochist feels uncomfortable seeing others get the treatment he’s dying for?


I have a similar feeling about resistance in a scene. I know that a lot of the time “no” means “harder” but I have a really hard time watching that happen. Then again, there are a lot of things I will do in a scene and think are totally hot, but can’t watch others do because it pushes the wrong buttons.

I sometimes have the same issue, especially when I’m watching a friend get a hard mindfuck. My first instinct is to protect my friend. I will be honest though, that after a few months of going to parties all the time, that has toned way down and it’s a lot easier for me to see the eroticism in the scene.

Being sadistic as well as masochistic, I haven’t had that issue. However, I can understand how others would.

It’s fairly common, actually. There have been any number of scenes where I just couldn’t stand to watch one of my playmates get beaten. Of course, escaping wasn’t really a possibility. Still, there are plenty of moments where a powerful scene just hits home.

(as she trawls her way through the months of interesting archives…)
I don’t know what drives your feelings in the situations you describe. I feel pretty sure only you can work that out.
What does occur to me, is that your description of your feelings regarding taking punishments on behalf of your brother, and wanting to rescue others from pain, those rang some bells in my head. The bells were about taking responsibility, when it isn’t necessarily appropriate. Sometimes this can be in conjunction with a desire to rescue others. As I see it, the desire to rescue is unrelated to masochism, so I see no reason why the two couldn’t happily coexist. I feel sure that many masochists also desire to rescue. Maybe even more so, since masochists have a unique perspective on suffering, both consensual and non-consensual.
That desire to rescue is pretty popular this season (and every season). Because this behaviour usually seen as productive, most people don’t question it. Since you are doing so, perhaps it’s worth investigating further?
I freely accept that my views on this could be totally irrelevant. Nevertheless, I enjoy sticking my schnozz in, and there was this comment form, you see… 😉

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