The Search

TESFest Recap

I just walked in the door from TESFest.

A few highlights:

-I learned I can’t go to a CBT class for a number of reasons. I have no desire to see another guys junk, I’m a bit uncomfortable seeing others in pain and part of me starts to feel a bit jealous.

-At nights I would walk though the dungeon area for a few minutes to see if there were any women who looked like they wanted to play but everyone I was attracted to was busy tying someone up, getting tied up or standing with her boyfriend so I went to the bar for a beer. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat.

Tilda seems to get cooler every time I see her. Any woman who owns leather converse is a rock star in my book. I tend to “borrow” her confidence whenever I’m around her.

-My best friend bought her first bit of hemp rope from Jocasta. She found two boys to practice on and was beaming after every time she played. Her favorite class was presented by Boymeat and is now planning on getting into electro play.

-One woman (whom I’m always feeling shy around for some reason) suggested I buy a cock ring. I never would have done it but when an attractive woman suggests it and even takes you to the vending area to buy it, one can hardly resist. I was a bit embarrassed when she was talking to the venders about it but was also trying to cover up my obvious arousal.

-I managed to walk by another one of my good friends as she was beating some guy up in the dungeon. It looked so intense I was surprised everyone else didn’t just stop and watch. Normally I’m busy trying to make her laugh, now I’m starting to think I need to get her angry.

Lolita may have sensed my desperation because she went out of her way to talk me up to one very attractive woman. For a second I thought she may have actually been interested until I realized she had her submissive with her already. Still, it was nice feeling while it lasted. Lolita is the only person I know who could have pulled off being my “wingman” while wearing Mickey Mouse ears. Note to self: Find out how Lolita got her superpowers.

Calico pinched my butt as I walked by one morning! I thanked her for it of course and was tempted to keep walking by her every time I saw her.

-Rita Seagrave is awesome-tastic. I’ve never been to a presentation like hers before. Can we get an All-Rita cable channel?

Viviane suggested I take a class on seduction. I’ve never had bad advice from her so I took it. The presenter offered some good advice even though I felt like most of the stuff would work better for me if I were dominant. I did notice a few things I’m doing wrong and perhaps things I need to cover up about my personality. I’ll write more about that later.

-I’ve had a number of emails asking if I used any condoms over the weekend. I have them for sale if anyone wants to buy some unused condoms. They’re out of the box so I’ll offer a discount. I’d return them to the drugstore but I doubt they’d give me a refund, maybe store credit.


Funny Emails From Vanilla Woman

So I’ve joined after a very very long break. My profile only briefly mentions kink in any way but I’m not going to hide it. I don’t want to waste my time with someone who isn’t aware of what she’s getting into. Sure if I were made of money it would be a different story. Not to mention I hate going through the motions of acting vanilla only to have the woman freak out and get pissed that I didn’t mention my submission from the beginning. The majority of the profile is very clean and does make me sound pretty vanilla actually. I talk about growing up on a farm, my musical tastes, what I enjoy in life ect.

Over the past few day’s I’ve had some interesting emails.

I emailed one woman and had this response:

“Sorry, there can only be one sub in the bedroom, and it has to be me! But I am sure we’ll both find what we’re looking for.


Ok, well, at least she was nice.

-After one woman winked at me I sent her an email thanking me for the wink. She then read my profile further and replied with this:

“so sometimes i’ll casually hurl a wink based on raw instinct/curiosity, without dissecting a profile too much … didn’t catch the BDSM “Update” section …
i’m actually very open-minded about the whole delicious world of sex and touch, but hawking for partners online seems … skeevy.
(and unless your recent dates have been nuns, i think you’ll find women are open to lots of things, once they feel safe & trust the guy …)
thanks for emailing, still seem like a cool guy, just don’t want to mislead you into thinking i own handcuffs.”

I wanted to reply with “oh? You must know a lot about dating vanilla women. They really seem open do they? Wow, I’ll remember that next time a woman says “eww” to me when I mention BDSM. Oh and thanks for calling me skeevy. I feel great about myself now.

-Another woman was very nice with her lack of interest.

“It’s funny, i imagine that the statistics are stacked against you a little bit. If you are lucky enough to get a kinky girl – i bet its probably more likely she is going to be submissive. Culturally, i imagine that is just a how it goes more often than not. but, I’m sure they are out there. . . . and you seem like a great guy and deserve it all – good luck out there.”

-Yet another tried to offer some helpful advice

“I think you’re looking in the wrong place for a kinky girl. I am sure there are lots of women on websites like alt. If you join a group like I’m sure you will meet someone in no time.”

Well at least she was trying to help.

One woman has said she’d be up for getting drinks sometime as long as I didn’t show up wearing “leather and spikes”. That’s much better luck than I expected.

Putting away my leather and spikes now and hope she emails back soon.

Three Dates In One Day

A dominant friend is in town this weekend and she met three submissive men in one day.

She wasn’t at a party either. I’m talking three dates with three different submissive men in one day. She’s picky too, she didn’t just meet any guy who was submissive, she had to narrow the candidates down. She had that many options.

I’m lucky if I meet one Domme every fiscal quarter.

Yet I still hear women like Bitchy Jones claiming that there are just as many dominant women as submissive men.

I’m floored by this idea.

If that’s true. Where are they?

I’m not much for faith. I don’t believe in any kind of God either (though he or she can prove their existence right now by getting the Domme of my dreams to knock at my door right now. Ok… now. Nnnnnnow? How about now. Ok, I just proved there is no god.) I need a proof of purchase when it comes to a god and I need one for the “equal number of dommes” theory as well. I’ve seen no evidence of either being true.

Funny how the two beings I’d like to worship don’t exist.

Look, it’s all about economics. There’s an entire industry built around catering to submissive men. If there were an equal number of dominant women to submissive men, then why aren’t there any women out there looking to pay me to submit to them?

There really isn’t any point to this post. Other than the fact that I know a dominant woman that went on three dates in one day.

Three in one day.

Three dates in one day.

I’m Not A Man. Wait, What?

A big thanks to Funkybrownchick for writing about how she likes submissive men. Granted she only likes submissive men to be “slightly” submissive (she doesn’t want to hurt them) but it’s still nice to know there are women out there who can see a submissive man as someone who’s still a man. I’ve started to ponder what the difference is between a submissive guy and a slightly submissive guy. That’s for another post.

It’s been something like four months since I’ve been intimate with anyone. The last woman I was with set the bar pretty high so it’s not like I don’t have some wonderful memories. Still…it would be nice not to miss her. It would be nice to meet a distraction or someone to fill the void.

After hearing about a number of my kinky female friends meeting open minded people on, I decided to revisit my account. I’ve sent a few emails but most of them are replied by submissive women.

On the bright side, at least I do get email replies on Okcupid. Even though most aren’t exactly ego boosting.

Here’s one reply I received:

“I read your profile and i’m kinda confused,i’ve never met someone who admits that he want a dominant woman,i thought that man wants to be man. in my past relationships my partners were the dominant ones,but maybe that was the problem:)but i’m dominant at work so i need balance in my life.”

“Have you tried to be a dominant person in a relationship or you alwys were the submissive?In my opinion every normal woman wants to be the submissive in a relationship.”

Yeesh I don’t even know how to respond to that one. I just sat there reading it over and over with my mouth open.

I’ve also opened up a free account on There is one catch though, you can’t even read your emails unless you pay. That’s how they get you.

I’ve got a number of emails from women just sitting in my inbox and I can’t read them. What if they’re from the Domme of my dreams? Of course each email lets you see who the email is from and wouldn’t you know they’re all fetish models.

They also claim to have a “hook up guarantee”. If you don’t “hook up” with someone after three months, you’ll get three months free. I can’t seem to find what they consider a hook up though. I’m looking and looking and can’t seem to find the fine print on this deal.

It can’t be any worse than adultfriendfinder, collarme or alt. At least the women on OKcupid will email back.

Rejection is sometimes better than being ignored.


That’s One Down, 9999999 To Go

I ran into someone on the street recently who I learned was engaged.

I gave him a big congrats and asked where he met her.

He knew what I meant by it.

He knew I was really asking where he met a dominant woman.

I met him at lifestyle event years ago and we would run into one another at events like BYTE and SMACK. I remember always thinking of him as a pretty decent guy, certainly not a creep.

“Oh she’s not dominant” he said, “I realized I needed to give that up and just grow up”.

At first I was a bit taken by what he was insinuating. I still don’t know what he meant by it. It seemed to be partially directed toward me.

I dropped the subject and we talked for a few more minutes before we went our different ways.

The good news is, that’s one less submissive guy to compete against.