oral worship

My Cunnilingus Crusade

I have a three day weekend to somehow do it.

First I wanted a hardcore BDSM scene combined with hours of sex.

Realized sex would be much easier to find.

Settling for just going downtown for a few minutes.

Wish me luck!

Service-oriented, Or Just Desperate?

Note: Just so you know, when I mention “service” I mean cleaning or doing chores for someone with aspects of D/s involved. Non-sexual (from my experience).

I had never considered it a question of if I enjoyed service or not. Of course I enjoy it. Even though I’ve only met one other submissive that really craves performing service.

But it was how the question was phrased that gave me doubts:

“Is service the easiest outlet for your submission?”

It’s the only outlet for my submission.

Cue the self-doubt:

What if that’s the only reason I enjoy service? What if it’s just because it’s the only way I can get a taste of what I need?

Over the past year, I’ve worn the phrase “service-oriented submissive” as a badge of honor. I’m more interested in pleasing than getting my own rocks off. That’s true sexually and also why I enjoy service. I enjoy service because I like the feeling of doing something for someone I respect and want to please.

That’s why I’m doing it, right?

What if I’m so desperate to get that feeling that I’ll take whatever I can get? It’s certainly easier to find someone to clean for than to find someone to beat the hell out of me or to let me worship them. It helps because sexual attraction isn’t necessary in service.

I’ve always said I’ve enjoyed service for service sake and I wasn’t one of those guys that want’s to clean for someone in the nude. What if that’s just because I’ve never met someone I was hot for who I could clean for?

What if I was really attracted to someone sexually as well and was performing service for them? Would I wish my service had more sexual tones to it?

Am I being more selfish than I thought? Am I the one who’s using them since it’s giving me that feeling I can’t get anywhere else?

I do know that I enjoy pleasing, making someone happy and making their life easier, but doesn’t everyone? Doesn’t everyone like making someone else feel better?

Maybe I’m not special at all and the only reason I enjoy service is because I’m so desperate to feel submissive that I’ll take what I can get.

What does service-oriented mean anyway?

I think if I ask one more question, I’ll be on the next train to crazy-town.


It’s very rare, but occasionally I’ll meet someone who I feel an instant “click” with. I’m not only physically attracted to them but also attracted to them in a psychological way as well.

It’s such a bitter-sweet feeling because it’s great to click with someone but horrible not knowing if the feeling is mutual or not. I need to take mind-reading lessons. I feel desperate to please them in some way. It’s such a powerless feeling to not know what someone wants from you, if anything at all. It’s so silly to have those feelings when you just met someone.

I could be talking to her about the weather and yet my mind will be racing, betraying me, saying other things:

“Yeah this weather is crazy isn’t it?

Is there ANYTHING I can do for you?


“Yeah I know, I wish we could have at least one day of sunlight soon”.

Please, just tell me what you want!

Tie me up, use me, rape me, let me worship you.

“Really? A low pressure system coming from the north? Wow, that’ll be quite the storm.”

Ugh, I’m dying to clean for you, anything that will require me to be on my knees

“No I really think this will pass, we should have decent weather by the weekend, great for going out in the park”

Would you like to lead me around by a leash or beat the crap out of me?

“Cool, hey it was great meeting you”

Can I please be your friend?

Please note, I’ve had a few beers while writing this and am feeling more powerless than normal.

Happy holidays!

Oral Addiction

Of all the things in the world, giving oral is by far the thing I adore the most.

Breathing is a close second only because it allows me to have future opportunities to do so.

I was going to write a post about service and the difference between serving someone who deserves it as opposed to someone who’s just lazy…but I can’t it out of my mind.

I once had a situation with a woman who just wanted to use me for my oral skills. It didn’t start that way. We had met in a bar and she took me home with her assuring me there would be no sex, just a little fooling around. After I gave her oral she said she wanted to keep ours an “orally based” relationship. I was more than happy to oblige. I was in my early 20’s and she was about ten years my senior. She would call me up and invite me over for a couple of hours. She never went down on me, if she was in the mood she would ask me to jerk off for her between her orgasms.

I miss having an orally based relationship. I imagine a woman sending me a text with just a time and a place to meet her. Or me sending her a text with a simple word, “Please”. I arrive at her house to dive my face between her legs and after she’s fully satisfied I’m either enjoying a drink with her or she kicks me out the door.

Hmmm now I’m thinking of what it would be like in a relationship. What better way to greet someone home from work than to be worshiping her body seconds after she gets home from a long day at work.

Ok my mind is running away from me. It’s been far too long. Damn me and my needing to be attracted to someone first.

There are few things in this world that I have a big head about. One of them is oral.

Not everyone thinks I’m great at it. Far too many women are self-conscious about a guy pleasing them in that way and there have been a few that think I’m too obsessed with it . Ok…vanilla women at least.

I love the fact that it takes time to really learn how to get a woman off this way. Some are easier than others and some are like a safe that I need to try and crack the code for. Everyone is different. I love the fact that some have said I was their first oral orgasm (though they could have been lying for my benefit).

Ok my eyes are glazing over.

I had one woman tell me I need to teach classes on the subject.

Yes, it’s one thing that can make me beam with pride. I’m a total oral slave…and a very good one too.

Maybe someday I’ll write about my oral “finishing move”.

I was debating on writing a graphic depiction of what I find works best. Not sure if I want this to be a totally graphic blog or not.


See, if I were to tell you what I find to be best oral technique, it may help a lot of submissive men out there (or at least the two that read this blog). At the same time, it’s something I can offer that few others can.

Plus it would be ungentlemanly wouldn’t it?

Maybe for a future post.

Happy Holidays dear reader. Hopefully I’ll find someone to accept my gift…even if it’s just for one night.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go buy a pack of gum, some lollypops and anything else that will keep my mouth busy.

Sex WIth Vanilla Women

I didn’t want to come right out and declare my submission, instead I just said “I prefer to be…..a giver.”

… I told her the story and she kept pressing about the kinkiest thing I’ve ever done.