Sex As A Reward For Service?

Ok, I know I post about service often but I’ve heard something twice in the past week that totally blows my mind. Mixing service with something more sexual.

I was chatting with a friend about it earlier and the subject came up again.

Here’s an excerpt from a recent chat:

axe: i’ve been performing service for years now and have never done anything sexual

Domme: omg someone as cute as you..

Domme1: well my drive is Huuuuge i couldnt imagine it not being sexual

Domme: how boring

axe: but i’ve performed service for women who had strong drives as well but there was nothing sexual

Domme: maybe they arent attracted to you?

axe: probably

Domme: its what makes it fun. I prefer to closely supervise and punish when its not done right..and reward when it is

axe: i enjoy close supervision

axe: but a reward for a good job? usually a reward for me is being allowed to come back and clean again

Domme: omg

Domme: no….

Domme at least jerking off

Domme: its hot

Domme: i just find it so highly charged

Domme: lol but maybe everything is that way for me

Domme: i guess i want it to be more intense…

Domme: what do you wear?

Domme: ive fantasized about an apron and naked.

axe: usually jeans and a tshirt, my normal clothes

Domme: really i think its super erotic

Domme: its hard work, the guys sweat, its fun to see a hot ass…. cleaning.. 🙂

Domme: it elevates the mundane

I’ve had the image of being objectified in my head for the last few weeks. The whole CFNM thing is a bit of a turn-on.

I imagine my submissive feelings would be stronger if I were naked while doing it…mabye. It’s been my experience that most women don’t want a naked guy cleaning for them, much less a submissive one.

Yet I’ve learned that two of my friends enjoy having submissive men naked while serving them.

Maybe it’s a west coast thing:)

I have no clue how service would be different for me if other aspects of BDSM were mixed in with it.

Would my quality of work get worse because I would be too eager to play? Would it increase because I might feel even more submissive?

15 Comments

I would totally love to make you clean my apartment naked, but 1) that could potentially freak my roommates out (lol) and 2) it’s so disgusting I couldn’t even imagine subjecting someone I like to the horrendousness of it.

*Big sigh for my filthy apartment*

I think it’s just a matter of what the ladies you’ve provided the service to is getting out of it, besides a clean place.

For me if someone provided a service buy cleaning my place, I would be looking at them like a turkey burger, but the clothes stay on unless agreed upon before hand.

If it became a regular service we would then have to reevaluate the situation. In which for me they would have to be nakkid, meaning I would have some accessibility. How distracting is it having to pull up a shirt to pinch nipples?
Not that it’s a bad thing, but a gal wants to just reach out and touch/pinch sometimes.

Answer to question 1) maybe, but then there’s always the means of corection(which can be kinda fun.)

Answer to question 2) Either way what bliss?

Cleaning in nothing but a cock ring..Mmmm..

he is here now…cleaning naked, thinking of you… 🙂

I’ve been put to use vacuuming the apartment in nothing but a CB-6000 (and blinds wide open I might add). It’s pretty humbling, and the Princess felt it was a fantasy come true.

To me, a good scene is challenging in some way, so if mixing more sexual actions with service feels tricky, it probably would make it more powerful.

Not sure how domme I am (actually, probably not very), although I’ve been accused (?) of being a switch (and a friend right now is pushing pretty hard for me to take on that role for him)…. but CFNM completely turns me on. I can’t imagine someone cleaning for me in the way you’ve described without a sexual element. Perhaps that’s just my weakness.

It’s merely a matter of time before it happens. That’s what I think.

I like it when Slave Bob cleans my house for me, naked or in an apron, and I occasionally molest and grope him, but it’s not insta-sex, per se.

It’s just often the sex follows because I really like having a sexy man clean my house for me. 🙂

This is really interesting. I think I prefer service such as cleaning to be done in street cloths; it seems more pointed when the focus is the task at hand rather than the sexual aspect of it. Other things are best done naked for both accessibility and because I like it when the people serving me are a bit selfconscious.

Then again I show up to play parties in jeans because playing in street clothes feels more deviant to me so take what I say with a large grain of salt. If we weren’t on opposite sides of the country I would suggest you try cleaning my house both fully dressed and naked so we could compare. You know, for science.

If I tell my husband to do some kind of chore naked, it’s because I’m already in a bit of a sexy mood and want to share that. Sometimes it leads directly to sex, most of the time it doesn’t. But it inevitably enhances our next scene.

I don’t punish, I give feedback and instructions if a job isn’t being done well. I don’t reward per se, although he says the doing-work-naked-for-me is rewarding in itself because it’s sexy-submissive. One of our favorite memories is the first Christmas we spent together. I had him assemble and decorate the tree naked, with close supervision, and I even had fun dressing all sexy myself and trying out various hitty implements at intervals.

I’ve spoken online to quite a few submissive men who say they would be thrilled to come and do chores for me without any sexual overtones. The thrill and satisfaction for them would be in doing a service for someone like me — a dominant woman who is living their (and my own) dream in a full time D/s relationship. As you said, the reward would be my approval, pleasant social exchanges, getting my feedback and instructions and following them to exceed my expectations. And the ultimate reward — to be asked back.

I can understand why it would be satisfying to them as sexually submissive people, even when no sexual contact or talk was involved. All that can happen in their imaginations from then on, if they like.

However, I haven’t yet actually had someone come do chores or clean for me. I know what would be in it for them, but I keep pondering what would be in it for me. Being relieved of chores that one time, sure. The nice feeling of granting someone’s wish, so to speak. So far those things haven’t tipped my motivation over enough to offer the chance to anyone.

For now my husband will keep the job.

I’ve discovered the hard way that household work done by a willing and submissive man is and will always be sexually charged.

Once upon a time, I used to think that household service and BDSM play in general could live on the other side of this Chinese wall from my vanilla relationships. I’ve since come to realize that that is completely wrong.

Even if there is no sexual contact, even if we both keep our clothes on, even if I never force him to his knees or pull his hair or get out my riding crop, there will always be a sexual component to the service.

I have to admit — and God forgive me — that I once allowed a married man to come over and vacuum my floors for me. When I began the email correspondence with him, I didn’t know he was married and he didn’t know I was a controlling bitch who got her rocks off by beating men into submission and making them do dirty, demanding housework. But I did know about his marital status when I picked him up from the T and brought him back to my place. I knew about it when I showed him how to use the vacuum and kept working on a presentation I needed to prepare before the end of the business day. I knew it when I repeatedly called out “are you done yet?” And when I pushed him into a kneeling position and bound his hands behind his back and called him a naughty boy and beat him with my crop through his blue jeans.

Now tell me that isn’t sexual in and of itself. Tell me his wife wouldn’t be really, really upset if she were to walk in on that.

So sex as a reward for service? As the relationship deepens, it can work. Personally, I find it necessary to take off the roles and speak to my sub like another human being. I’m not comfortable with an ongoing imbalance of power. I want to honestly know what’s going on in that little brain of his when he’s not way deep down in subspace.

And sometimes I like to get my rocks off. With the servants.

They’re still just household help, after all.

Right?

PS: Love the new look. Did you need to get a paid membership to modify your CSS code? From what little research I’ve done, that appears to be the only way.

Wow so much stuff to reply to.

Avah- Dang roommates

Rave- So I’m a turkeyburger???

Dahlia-Cleaning with a cock-ring? That…umm yeah..would be an experience.

Quesera- Lucky hubby.

Omnivore- I have to say though, very little of the service I’ve done has even had a hint of sexuality, only because being submissive is something I identify as part of my sexual side. Other than feeling submissive, there’s nothing that I get out of it, but maybe that’s why I enjoy it. Proving it to myself.

Oh and no, didn’t pay anyone for it. Just made a theme change:) Glad you like the new look.

Yep a juicy turkey burger hopefully with a toasted bun. 🙂

I’ve always had that CFNM fantasy of serving a woman (or women) too.

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