KinkForAll: The Presentations I Won’t Be Doing

kmzcmoThkklnfd3uTun85Wheo1_500.png

Don’t forget KinkForAll is this Sunday the 8th here in sunny New York City. You need to sign up! Go…Click the link now!

I have it on good authority that all the cool kids will be there.   

There are more than 70 people signed up to attend, It looks like there will be presentations on topics that you may not find at other events.

I was debating on doing a presentation but after running my list of possible topics past a few friends, I’ve decided to just help out.

Presentations topics that my friends rejected for KinkForAll:

-Smurf-tastic: Why talking like a Smurf during sex turns women off.

-“Can I lick you..you know..down there?” and other failed pick-up lines.

-I triple-dog-dare the women from the Victoria’s Secret catalog to have sex with me. Note: Presentation only open to women in the CURRENT catalog, there’s simply not enough space at the event for every woman who’s ever been in the catalog.

-A partial list of women I’ve slept with in previous lives: 1683-1750

-A partial list of women I’ve slept with in previous lives: The Industrial Revolution: How inventing the steam engine got me laid.

-A partial list of women I’ve slept with in previous lives: The Civil War years

200903052220.jpg

-A partial list of women I’ve slept with in previous lives: How Beatlemania resulted in a dry spell.

-A partial list of women I hope to sleep with in this life. Note: If you’re a woman and go to my presentation, I’ll assume you’re only going because you hope to be on the list and you’ll be automatically added to the list.

-Things I think about that aren’t sex-related. Note: This presentation will focus mainly on Apple Computer products. For the presentation on Battlestar Galactica, please see the following presentation.

-Battlestar Galactica: How I want to be double-teamed by a six and an eight.

200903052213.jpg 200903052213.jpg  

So there you have it. After months of research, printing out the flyers, calling the booking department of both Victoria’s Secret and the Sifi Channel as well as buying time on the History Channel, I’ve been urged by my friends to not present any of these. I’m sure the other presentations will be very good despite their lack of references to my sex life.

Hope to see you there!

5 Comments

A LOT of straight men lust over Tricia Helfer [GG]. She’s going to be in an upcoming episode of ‘Chuck’. Pole dancing according to a couple of spoilers. Batten down the hatches!

you are such goof. i likey.

Smarty-pants.

@Xenaclone: What, no appreciation for Grace Park?

Not that I’ve heard :-).

Leave a Reply to Jane's Teeth Cancel reply

Name and email address are required. Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes:

<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>