Overheard In BDSM

I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Overheard In New York or not. Its an additive site.

Over the past few months I’ve been collecting some choice things I’ve heard in this silly, kinky life of mine. Some aren’t odd as much as they are phrases that remind me I’m not anywhere near the farm that I grew up on.

-’”Sorry, leather pants don’t count as fetish unless you take your shirt off” (That was actually what I was told at Byte this past Sunday night.)

-”It smells like cock in here.”

-”I don’t want a boy to be my bitch, I want a man to be my bitch”

-”What I would give to have a submissive man here now” (This was said while I was standing right next to her)

-”I’d totally fuck that nun.”

-”I know you’re not into guys, but what if a dominant woman ordered you to go down on me?”

-”This will be the most hardcore BDSM party you’ve ever been to”
Me: “Really? Will there be nudity and sex?”
“No, We’ll be serving alcohol”.

-”She’s very submissive as long as you do what she wants you to do.”

-”He looks better in a dress than I do.” (woman talking to a friend)

-(Woman telling me what she’s looking for) “I’m submissive so I just want a man to clean for me.”

-Woman:”These heels are killing me.”
Random guy walks up to her: “May I give you a foot massage Mistress?”
Woman:”Go away.”

-Guy talking to me about my best friend:”Is she dominant?”
Me:Yes
Guy:”Are you her slave?”
Me:”No.”
Guy:”Why are you hanging around with her then”?
Me:”She’s my best friend”.
Guy:”But she’s dominant!!”

-Woman:”Sorry, I’m looking for a man much dirtier than you”
Me:”I can be dirty.”
Woman:”No, I mean physically.”

-Friend giving me the recap of her date:”He had the smallest penis I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot.
Me:”Wow that’s bad, I’m sorry.”
Friend:”No, I mean I’ve seen a LOT”

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39 Responses to Overheard In BDSM
  1. Verity
    September 16, 2008 | 11:55 am

    I’ve never found stupid people funny, they make me sad.

  2. Wendy Blackheart
    September 16, 2008 | 11:56 am

    Hey, was that last one me? Lol.

  3. Tom Allen
    September 16, 2008 | 4:18 pm

    -Woman:”Sorry, I’m looking for a man much dirtier than you”
    Me:”I can be dirty.”
    Woman:”No, I mean physically.”

    Wow, so you scened with Bitchy Jones?

    Actually, I really love this idea. I think I subscribe to half a dozen different “Overheard in…” feeds. You should totally make this a regular feature.

  4. J
    September 16, 2008 | 5:59 pm

    -”This will be the most hardcore BDSM party you’ve ever been to”
    Me: “Really? Will there be nudity and sex?”
    “No, We’ll be serving alcohol”.

    Okay, that one made me giggle. Lots of the others deserve a facepalm. Man, this subculture…

  5. Elle
    September 16, 2008 | 7:14 pm

    I second, this should be a regular feature!

  6. Charlotte
    September 16, 2008 | 8:55 pm

    These are hilarious. The “go away” exchange was my favorite. I hope you post “overheard in BDSM” again in the future!

  7. Aarkey
    September 17, 2008 | 5:18 pm

    I love the nun one :)

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  9. miss AJ
    September 20, 2008 | 10:04 am

    Some of these had me rolf. My favourite is the ‘she is very submissive as long as you do what she wants you to’ so, so true of so many.

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    September 24, 2008 | 11:13 am

    This just made my day!

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  39. Ralph
    January 26, 2009 | 5:28 pm

    -Friend giving me the recap of her date:”He had the smallest penis I’ve ever seen. And I’ve seen a lot.
    Me:”Wow that’s bad, I’m sorry.”
    Friend:”No, I mean I’ve seen a LOT”

    This one is killing me, I like the guy

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