A man with a strong submissive and kinky side. I write (in the loosest sense of the word), podcast and socialize in New York City
I was at an event a few months ago. It was at a bar event and started talking to someone. Just casual talk and she eventually asked me about my experiences with submissive women.
Ummm..what?
It was almost funny how offended I felt at first. Sometimes I still feel dominant male = assface. (Before you comment I know this isn’t true…I just know more asshole dominant guys than asshole submissive guys).
She assumed I was dominant because I wasn’t acting submissive to her.
Acting submissive?
She said that normally she can tell if a guy is submissive by the way he acts around her. Asks to buy her a drink or something. I wasn’t one of those guys.
I’ve been confused for being dominant lots of times at events like these. I don’t know why.
Do I give off a dominant vibe or something? Sometimes I feel my submission might be too obvious and yes, many times I try to cover it up when I’m around someone I’m really attracted to and when I don’t know if the feeling is mutual.
Others…It’s impossible to cover up.
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I am mistaken for being submissive by some people and yet I inadvertently intimidate others. Just depends I guess. I think because I tend to be quieter when I first meet people and do more listening than talking they guess submissive. But then some are intimidated because I ask direct questions or say whatever is on my mind. Go figure.
Heh. I you’ve never been subjected to someone who not only automatically assumes that you must be dominant because of your sex, but also ever so subtly tries to manipulate you into dominating her, count yourself lucky.
Because you know, submissive sexuality in men can’t be allowed to exist, can it? These men are just deluded! It’s for their own good!
It’s just a (not large) subset of submissive women who exercise this particular brand of sexism, but unfortunately they are around.
I don’t mean people who openly and honestly ask if you’d be interested in switching. That’s perfectly polite and legitimate.
I’m referring to submissive women who try to make men ashamed of their submissive sexuality and try to manipulate them into hiding it.
People sometimes expect caricatures, I think.
I’ve surprised plenty of men: a sweet voice and a willingness to listen in conversation does not a sub make.
When I met you, you came off like a pleaser. A nice guy who wants to cater to a girl. But does that translate to submissive? Not in every case. I think these labels are tricky, and a person has to get to know you in order to know what you’re about. However, I will say that the word “dominant” didn’t exactly spring to mind. (Although, you are like a foot taller than me!)