A man with a strong submissive and kinky side. I write (in the loosest sense of the word), podcast and socialize in New York City
A vanilla friend of mine recently said “Hey if you want to get beaten up by women, just walk into a lesbian bar dressed as Rush Limbaugh.”
I’ve been with a few people who thought they were sadists, but when it came time to play they would just barely tap and maybe tap once or twice then look at me saying “Can you take that? Is that enough? Is it too much for you?”
Yes, I’ve faked it once. But the other times I’ve usually just said “more please”. There’s sometimes a look of sadness and disbelief when they realize I can take more pain than most.
Ok…that sounded like bragging.
I will say this, there’s tons of pain I’m not sure I could take at all. I’ve never been whipped for example, nor have I experienced CBT or a heavy flogging or..wow lots of stuff.
Here’s the other thing. I may not actually be a masochist at all.
Some define a masochist as someone who can take a lot of pain, others say its someone who can have an orgasm from it.
I’ll say, from my limited experience with caning, that I’m more of the former. But then again, I’ve never been caned by someone I was really into.
One of the hottest experiences in my life was when I was out on a date with someone, we were making out and she dug her fingernails deep into my side (so deep I had marks in my side for months and months afterwards). I was in heaven. She whispered in my ear “I love that you’re a pain-slut”. It wad one of the sexiest things anyone has ever said to me. Sadly that was as far as it went with her.
I do know that, when it comes to caning, I can usually take a lot of pain. I friggin’ love it. I love taking it for that person, feeling their power and….ok I guess I am getting turned on by it.
I also love the emotional release. I’ve only had one really really good beating and I ended up crying because of it (and because while in deep subspace I thought heard the voice of the woman I was desperate for at the time).
I will tell you one form of torture I can’t handle: Musical theater.
I’ve come up with a few possible craigslist headlines that may attract a sadist:
-Please beat the shit out of me
Nah too graphic
-Please make me hurt
Nope…she could just stand me up and do the trick
-Want to work out your frustrations?
No, sounds like every Casual Encounters post
-Is that a whip and flogger in your hand or are you just happy to see me?
Too cliche
-Beat me and you could win a free toaster!
Bingo that’s it! It appeals to every sadist and…who wouldn’t like a free toaster?
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2 slot or 4 slot toaster?
You’re hanging with the right crowd if you’re looking for a nice beating. I know a couple ladies (including yours truly) that enjoy beating up on guys.
But you have to make sure casual play can satisfy you as you search for a more intimate relationship. It can either be a lot of fun or an empty filler.
To me, a masochist is simply someone who can enjoy pain in a sexy way. Where I’m not clear on drawing the line is with people who find pain satisfying or romantic but who aren’t turned on by it.
But you definitely sound like a masochist.
Yum.
Oh, but also, let me say, life isn’t always easy for us sadists. I don’t want to traumatize someone, so I don’t completely give into my own sadism – I need to maintain control and sanity. So it’s not like if I were playing with someone I didn’t know well, I’d just start whaling away on ‘em.
Though a toaster would be nice, mine is looking rather sad at the moment, the best way to get my attention is by saying
“-Please push me!”
I simply love to push, at those times it feels as though I can almost let my inner sadist roam freely. Almost…
Avah – When did you start beating up on guys???
Avah- I second Wendy’s comment. You like to beat up on guys? Oh and you’re right about casual play feeling empty, but if I waited for a relationship to experience these things I may never experience them.
Dev- Yum? Gulp
Mariah- Thanks..I’ll add that to the top of my list:)
If you can eroticize pain then you are a masochist.
But we masochists are a diverse lot.
Not all pains are created equally. What excites you may bore me.
And our masochism can be modified by many things. The more submissive a play partner can make me feel the more pain I can accept.
I’m with Richard in his definition – and that makes me a masochist, as I definitely eroticise pain. It seems to me that there are some who get off on the pain being inflicted, some who get off on submitting to someone who inflicts pain (but doesn’t enjoy the pain, per say) and some who are along the spectrum.
For myself, I get off on the pain, but also on the person doing the inflicting – the giving up of control. Inflicting the pain on myself really doesn’t do it at all!
Interesting post
xx Dee
Wendy and Axe- I will point you in the direction of this post here
That link didn’t work-
http://tinyurl.com/2q5rzf
Avah- I stand corrected:)
You know, every time I move to a new country I have to buy a toaster. It’s very annoying and I just moved last week…
Also, I like your blog
Oh Avah, Why does Wendy not know you’re a switch? One night at sex camp Avah topped me and then went a topped the guy who paid $3000 in Kundalini Cash to eat her pussy the night before. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think she tied him up and stuck things up his ass.
A toaster beats fake money.
But think what you could do with an electric mixer. Whirrr……
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